eHarmony is an online dating site that was founded by Dr Neil Clark Warren in 2000. After over three and a half decades of practising as a clinical psychologist and counselling thousands of married couples, the Doc figured that compatibility was a key ingredient of successful marriages.
That is, highly compatible individuals had successful marriages, while less compatible individuals had failed marriages because of the big difference that proves too difficult to be resolved over time. Thus, eHarmony was launched as a dating site that matches people based on compatibility indices.
The site uses a lot of profile questions and compatibility quiz to establish the personalities of members, and then match members that are deemed compatible. The matching is based on 29 DIMENSIONS® of compatibility found in thousands of successful relationships.
This algorithm based matching of eHarmony was the first in the dating industry; it’s so unique that eHarmony has it patented (Compatibility Matching System®). Also, eHarmony continues to work to keep the system up-to-date and relevant for domestic and international markets by continually conducting scientific research into what makes a successful relationship work; and using the research result to improve the matching system.
eHarmony’s Compatibility Matching System is so successful that it has led to many long-term relationships (marriages). eHarmony is one of the few singles matching sites that publish success stories (statistics of marriages from their matches). In fact, eHarmony ranks as one of the best sites for successful matches. According to the site, eHarmony has been responsible for about 500 marriages in the US per day.
The success of eHarmony is because it is different from the traditional dating sites around. In many of these sites, while you may meet singles in their numbers, finding compatible singles can be a herculean task. Most often than not, the resources that these sites provide in determining the compatibility of their singles are inadequate. It is this gap that eHarmony comes to fill. The dating site comes out not only to connect you to singles but to connect you to compatible singles.
eHarmony is one of the algorithm based singles matching sites out there. In fact, it is the very first algorithm-based dating site. It advertises as the “#1 dating site for like-minded singles”.
The number one dating site should help you find your other half. eHarmony says that is exactly what the site does; it takes great pride in its “algorithm-based system” which it says will match you with only compatible singles.
Yes, eHarmony is a legit dating site. It is not a scam because they will never steal your money or credit card details. And they always render the services you pay for without a problem.
A look at the landing page of the eHarmony website, and you’ll find your typical happy heterosexual couple with smiles that’ll turn rock to powder. With the picture, it’s clear to see what eHarmony is promising – love; the kind that’ll make you happy forever. The big question is whether all this is clever marketing, or whether eHarmony actually delivers. In the first place, is the eHarmony profile genuine?
This eHarmony review will examine eHarmony in order to help you answer these questions and more.
eHarmony Background – overview
- Started in 2000 by a clinical psychologist with years of experience in counselling couples
- Advertising as using a scientific approach to match compatible singles
How it Works
Who is eHarmony for?
Needless to say, eHarmony is strictly for singles. Thus, you’ll only be admitted if you have never been married (single), or if you are divorced or widowed. Also, eHarmony is designed for singles looking for a long-term relationship with marriage as the goal. If you want something serious, you’ll find that eHarmony is for you. But if you want a fling, a hookup, or fun chit chat, eHarmony is definitely not for you.
To ensure that short terms seeking singles are weeded out, eHarmony has a detailed and lengthy signup process that’s sure to frustrate any short term goals. That is, only persons seeking the long terms will put in the time and effort (and as we’ll find later the money) to answer the flurry of questions that eHarmony will throw.
Also, eHarmony does not offer same-sex relationships. When joining, you’ll have to indicate your sex by checking man or woman in the “I am a” field. Choosing either man or woman will automatically check the box of the opposite sex as the person you are seeking. Thus, by the design of eHarmony, men cannot choose to seek men; and women cannot choose to seek women.
Strictly heterosexual matching
That eHarmony is not LGBT friendly is enough reason for many persons to frown at it. However, the guys behind the scenes of eHarmony have always maintained that they are not anti-gay in any way. To show this (albeit only after a discrimination lawsuit has been filed against them) they launched a dating website strictly for same-sex relationships – Compatible Partners. Thus, eHarmony maintains its heterosexual focus.
Who is it for – overview:
- A singles matching site
- For marriage-minded singles seeking long term commitments; and not for flings or hookups
- Is not LGBT friendly – Does not match lesbians, gays, trans, or bisexual singles
Is eHarmony legit?
Yes, eHarmony is a legitimate online dating service. It is one of the most popular online dating websites and has been around since 2000. It uses an algorithm to help match its users with compatible partners. eHarmony is a subscription-based service and offers its users a variety of features to help facilitate successful relationships.
In this digital age, everything went online, even fraudsters. Thus, before using any online platform, you’ll want to determine that it is legit. This is even more so if you want to venture into dating sites. With another online platform, anything but a legit site, and you’ll be ripped off. But because dating sites are designed to help you find love; anything but a legit site and you’ll not only be ripped off but also served heartbreaks and disappointments.
In this regards, there’s no doubt that eHarmony is legit. Our first check of legitimacy is always legality. That is because, most often than not, the legal platforms are legit. eHarmony checks this box. eHarmony is a duly registered Delaware corporation (eHarmony Inc), with official head offices in Los Angeles, CA. In this least, this means that eHarmony is a 100% legal company.
Another check of legitimacy is visibility. That is because legit platforms are highly popular and are recognized by leaders and followers in the industry. eHarmony also checks this box. First, the eHarmony Compatibility Matching System® is protected by U.S. Pat. No. 6,735,568. Suffice it to say that scam sites do not seek patents for their models. Also, eHarmony is easily one of the most recognizable dating sites in the business; and among their recognition is the 2018 iDate Awards. Suffice it to say that scam sites cannot be so recognized by industry leaders.
When it comes to dating sites the ultimate test of legitimacy is being “fit for purpose” – in the case of eHarmony that will mean actually getting compatible matches that will translate to serious long term relationships or marriages. eHarmony also ticks this box in this regards. In the first place, eHarmony has zero tolerance for fakes and scammers. That means you’re less likely to find unserious singles or fake scammers in eHarmony. In fact, we’ve seen reviews from some former eHarmony members aggrieved that the site hurriedly blocked them off most likely because some singles they were matched with gave a bad report. Usually, eHarmony will not stop at blocking them off, but will also send a message to every other member the individual must have communicated with to warn these members of the individual.
Some of these aggrieved persons come out to clear their name and complain of character assassination on the part of eHarmony. Whether eHarmony does due to diligence to investigate reports before swinging into their anti-fakes action (of blocking the individual and sending the warning messages) is another discussion. But the “swift and ruthless” anti-fakes action of eHarmony is a strong statement to their legitimacy discussion. Also, as mentioned earlier, though eHarmony has a strong membership pool, the site has one of the biggest rejection rates in the industry. This is also an effort to make sure that fakes are weeded out. eHarmony will not rip you off; and unlike many dating sites, you’re less likely to find fakes and more likely to find what you are looking for, which is true love and long term commitment.
Also, eHarmony has very impressive success numbers. The website reports that it is responsible for about 500 marriages per day in the US alone. However, if you do not trust self-claims, you can do a small search, and you’ll easily find (in independent reviews platforms) couples/ happy partners who started from eHarmony.
eHarmony legitimacy – overview:
- the company is 100% legal being a registered corporation
- having a patented work as well as being recognized with industry awards, there’s no doubt eHarmony is legit
- Have zero tolerance for fakes and scammers
- Have led to real marriages
Is eHarmony safe?
eHarmony is safe. Another important consideration when using an online platform is safety; which is the ability of the platform to safeguard the sensitive information that you share with it. To use dating sites, especially one like eHarmony that requires detailed profile, you’ll literally be giving up everything about yourself. Where the site offers paid services, you’ll also be giving off payment card details. The last thing you’ll want is for your personal information and credit card details to end up in the wrong hands (such as online fraudsters and identity thieves). Thus, the ideal online dating site should not only be legit (in not ripping people off and serving love) but should also be safe in ensuring that members’ data do not leak out.
eHarmony does relatively well in this regards. In its privacy policy, eHarmony states that it has extensive security measures in place to protect members’ data. These measures include SSL (Secure Socket Layer) and 3DES (strong encryption). While 3DES may not always get the high fives, SSL is definitely the industry standard for creating private connections between devices communicating on the internet. Not only is data funnelled through a private channel, but its also encrypted to ensure that even if it is captured it cannot be read by the hackers.
It must be said that eHarmony has once (2012) had security breached. However, credit card details were not exposed; as the breach only resulted from their password database being compromised. Affected members were swiftly communicated; telling them to have their passwords changed. Despite that breach, on the whole, it is safe to say that eHarmony is safe.
You may also check out other eHarmony sites at Okcupid and Elitesingles.
Getting Started in eHarmony
Thus, getting started in eHarmony is relatively not breezy. You’ll have to work through profile questions that will be used to set up your profile. Your profile which will be visible to matches will be created with answers to these profile questions. Many of the questions at this stage are basic; such as questions about your ethnicity, occupation, income level, and education level. However, you’ll also find some thought-provoking questions like “What are three things you are thankful for”.
Moving from the profile questions, you’ll then have to set up your match preferences. Here, you’ll state what kind of matches you want; such as the ideal age range, and their distance from you. Lastly, you’ll then take the heralded eHarmony compatibility quiz.
The compatibility quiz is lengthy; although not as it used to. It used to have some 450 questions; but since 2017, it has been trimmed down to 150 questions. Still, answering some thought-provoking 150 questions will prove a chore for unserious singles or seekers of short terms. However, the serious-minded singles know that putting in an effort is necessary for getting something worthwhile. However, the 150 compatibility questions are now optional, so with just establishing your profile and match preferences, you may start receiving matches.
However, if you really want a shot at a serious long term relationship from eHarmony, you’ll want to put in the effort and complete the compatibility quiz. This is because the 150 compatibility questions of eHarmony will help establish the personality of members, identifying things that make two persons compatible. From its numerous researches into successful long-term relationships, eHarmony has developed a “29 Dimensions of Compatibility” which simply are elements that can help you identify a compatible match. These personality indices include social preferences, emotional temperament, inter-personal skills, values, religious and political beliefs, and more.
Thus, the eHarmony Compatibility Matching System ® entail using its 150 compatibility questions to know how each member rates on the 29 Dimension of Compatibility; and then sending you matches that are best suited to you.
Getting Started – Overview
- Very lengthy signup process
- Profiles are very detailed
- Send matches based on its 29 dimensions of compatibility
Matching Process
The eHarmony Compatibility Matching System® means that the members have little say in the whole process. You can only state your age and location preference, and eHarmony takes over. Using your detailed profile, their algorithm identifies and sends you compatible profiles that fit your age and location preference. You do not have to search the site for compatible matches. It doesn’t only give you the profiles; it also gives you the compatibility ratings. For example, you may be 90% compatible in terms of values, 45% compatible in terms of physicality, and so on.
The matching of eHarmony can be looked at from different angles. On the one side, the matching process can be praised for being excellently user-friendly and effortless. Since eHarmony does everything, you are spared the time-consuming work of sifting through hundreds of profiles to find a match.
However, on the other hand, it can be frustrating that you are not allowed to explore the pool on your own. You can only wait to get a batch of matches from eHarmony. If you get a perfect match from the batch, then it’s all bells and roses; but if you are not interested in any of the matches, you’ll have to wait to receive the next batch on another day.
Matching – overview:
- Personalized – as you’ll receive only matches with a high level of compatibility
- Limited – as you cannot search the pool yourself
Membership Pool
You are more likely to catch a fish when there are plenty of fishes in the river. Thus, one good element of the go-to singles matching site is a large membership pool. eHarmony ticks the box in this regards. eHarmony accepts members from all 50 US States as well as from over 250 countries across the globe. Thus, eHarmony can boast of over 10 million users.
Despite having a large membership pool, eHarmony also has one of the highest rejection rates in the industry. The site claims to reject about 20% of applicants; this has worked out to 7 figures. According to eHarmony, among the persons rejected are: those who are already married, those who are below the age requirement, those who provided inconsistent answers when applying, those who have been married more than four times but still below the age of 60, and those who fail their dysthymia scale testing (that is, deemed to have a depressed disposition).
In fact, when I first tried to use eHarmony, my first application was rejected. I was very single (never been married), in my mid-30s (so not underage), and provided honest answers which I don’t think are inconsistent. Looking back, I realized that my minimalist answers must have made me appear really depressed. Whatever the case, eHarmony didn’t see me as real at the time.
While getting rejected as “fake” can be frustrating to every “real” single who try applying (it sure was for me), it’s a good thing for every other member seeking love in the platform. Given that a large membership base is a plus for dating sites, the fact that eHarmony actively shuts the door to members can only mean that it is soundly legit.
Membership Pool – Overview:
- Active membership in about 250 countries
- Has a very high rejection rate
Pricing, Billing, and Related Policies
Service plans and Prices
When it comes to paying to use dating sites, the reaction is varied. Some singles see it as buying love, and will rather go for the free dating sites; while others see it as a way to weed off unserious singles, and will only use paid sites when seeking serious relationships. Thus, eHarmony gives you both – the site has a free plan, as well as paid plans.
However, the free plan is basically worthless as it is severely limited. It is available for an unlimited time period; you can create a detailed personality profile which will be used in finding good matches for you; you will be sent compatible matches, and you can view the matches (albeit not their pictures). However, your communication with matches sent to you will end at sending smiles to them, which at most tells them that you have viewed their profile. Thus, the free plan is basically a way of checking out the quality of the matches of eHarmony. If you are satisfied with the profile of the matches, you’ll then have to upgrade to a paid plan to have any meaningful communication (or more) with these matches.
For subscriptions, eHarmony offers three paid plans – Basic plan, Total Connect plan, and Premier plan. The basic plan is the least expensive; while the Premier plan is the most expensive, and thus the most feature-packed.
The basic plan allows you to: view the pictures of matches sent to you; request more pictures from your matches; communicate with your matches; see who has viewed your profile; and know when your matches last logged in.
The basic plan has four subscription packages; with each package identical in features, and only differ in the length of time the service can be accessed. There is a one month package that cost $59.95; there is a three months package that cost $119.5 which works out to $39.95 per month to give a 33.3% cost savings; there is a six months package that cost $179.70, which works out to $29.95 to give a 50% savings; and there is a 12 months package that cost $239.4, which works out to $19.95 to give a 66.7% savings.
The Total Connect plan includes all the features of the basic package and more. The additional features include an extended profile that allows you to get more matches per day; the SecureCall which allows you to make phone calls with a match without having to reveal your phone number; and the RelyID which will show that your identity has been confirmed giving your matches confidence.
The Total Connect plan has three packages. The first is a three months package that cost $134.85 and works out at $44.95 per month; the second is a six months package that cost $203.70 and works out at $33.95 per month. The third is a 12 months package that cost $287.4 and works out at $23.95 per month.
The Premier plan has all the features of the Total Connect plan but includes some other features such as the ability to pause your account for three months; and eHarmony secure check, which allows you to request more information (such as criminal records) about a match. The Premier Plan has only the 12 months subscription package. It cost $503.40, which means it works out to $41.95 a month.
For obvious reasons, the basic plan is the most popular plan in eHarmony. Typically, whatever the plan, you’ll save more by opting for the longer term subscriptions. Anyways; the one month package (of the basic plan) is generally not the best not only because of its relative cost, but because the long-term relationships that eHarmony sells will realistically not materialize in a month.
However, when a comparative analysis of pricing is done, it can easily be seen that eHarmony is relatively expensive. Even the Basic plan which is their lowest-cost plan is higher than the prices of the premium plan of many of the competing sites in the industry. As mentioned earlier, the relatively high cost of eHarmony is seen by many as a positive. In a 2010 Harvard Business Review article, the relatively high cost of eHarmony was cited as a reason for its success, because it deters people who are only interested in casual flings.
eHarmony Pricing Overview:
- Has a free plan and three paid plans
- The free plan is severely limited, and worthless if you desire that matches translate to more
- With different paid accounts, some features are exclusive to higher paying customers
- The paid plans are some of the priciest in the industry
Billing and Payment Method
If you do choose to use a paid dating site, you’ll want a hassle-free process. This starts with having a wide range of convenient methods to choose from when you are about to make payments. eHarmony does relatively well in this regards. You can pay for your eHarmony subscription using the popular credit/ debit cards such as Visa, American Express, MasterCard, and Discover cards, as well as PayPal.
Though there is no support for payment methods such as cryptocurrencies and web wallets, with the supported methods, you shouldn’t have problems with upgrading to eHarmony’s paid plans no matter what country you are in.
Also, it’s a no-brainer that members will rather subscribe to the 12 months packages instead of rolling over the monthly plans. Given that the 12 months plans are pricy; forking out the required sums to buy them is no easy task. Thus, eHarmony allows their 12 months packages to be billed in three instalments.
eHarmony Billing Overview:
- 12 months packages can be paid in 3 instalments
- A range of payment methods are supported
eHarmony Guarantee
Every buyer will want a service provider that stands behind the service. eHarmony does exactly that with their guarantee to give confidence that you’ll get the best experience possible.
The eHarmony guarantee is that if you are not satisfied with the matches introduced to you in 3 months, you’ll get an additional 3 months free. However, to be eligible for this offer, you’ll need to have a complete profile, have at least a 3 months subscription, and must have made an effort to “click” with the matches sent to you, such as having sent or replied a qualifying communication from at least 5 members.
However, one thing that should be noted is that the guarantee cannot be redeemed for money. That is, it is not a money back guarantee. In merchandise retailing and with some service providers, quality guarantees are usually money back guarantees; as such most eHarmony members think it’s a money back guarantee that the singles matching site is offering. This can be seen in the reviews of some customers who talk of being disappointed at not being able to get their money back despite the offer of a guarantee.
eHarmony Guarantee:
- not a money back guarantee
Special Features
Pre-Written Conversation
According to many persons, one of the reasons people go online to find love is because of a lack of confidence. While that is debatable, some persons actually feel freer punching away at their devices to some virtual friend. However, sometimes, what haunts in real life may come into the virtual spaces and you’ll find yourself not knowing how to start a conversation with a match.
eHarmony thought of this and has a collection of pre-written conversations that you can use to get the ball rolling. However, you’ll want to start kicking after the ball rolls, else the communication can quickly become impersonal.
SecureCall
A good dating site will provide a plethora of communication resources. However, a great dating site will provide these communication resources without invading your privacy. That is exactly what eHarmony achieves with its SecureCall feature. This allows you to make calls with your matches anonymously – that is, you’ll call each other without having your phone number revealed to each other, until a time when you are comfortable with revealing the phone number.
eH+
eHarmony’s eH+ service allows you to get help from a professional in your love search. With this service, when you receive the eHarmony’s matches, you are not left on your own to identify and pursue a promising match. Instead, the matches are first sent to a professional matchmaker (usually with a background in psychology) who will size up the matches, filter them, and make recommendations.
This professional matchmaker will be your personal coach in the love journey. He/ She will help you with communication with a “qualified” match – you’ll be the one doing the communicating, but the coach will be there to provide whatever needed assistance. The coach will help you with setting up a date, and everything post-date. Communication with the coach can be via calls, text messaging, Skype, and even face-to-face (if proximity is good). Thus, the eH+ is a very personalized service Unfortunately, this service does not come cheap, it cost $5,000 per year.
Privacy – overview:
- A safe platform that effectively protects members’ personal information and payment data
eHarmony Complaints
- Insufficient matches
It should be said that one of the major complaint people have about eHarmony is not receiving enough matches. There have been members who have used the same profile used in eHarmony on other platforms, but while they will get no or very few eHarmony matches, they’ll get dozens from the other platforms.
In our opinion, eHarmony really does not send sufficient matches. You can get as little as 1 or 2 matches a day. It is a no-brainer that that will not do it for many members. Add in the fact you cannot search the member pool yourself, and it can really get frustrating. However, if live in a major city, you can get as many as 8 or more matches per day.
- Inactive Matches
Another complaint about eHarmony is that members do not hear back from many of their matches. With only relatively few matches gotten, it can be really frustrating when you contact the one or two you judge as promising only to meet stone silence for days or weeks. This has led people to wonder whether the members of eHarmony are actually active.
In our opinion, no system works perfectly, so despite the best efforts of eHarmony, it will not be surprising to find that some of their profiles are of members that have long gone inactive.
However, we’ll add that since long term commitments should not be rushed into when using the platform, you should hope to find love, and not find love quickly. If it does come quickly, fine and good; but if it takes a while, the little patience may be worth it at the end of it all. That said; you may not find joy in eHarmony if you are not the patient fellow. However, as their success stories prove, “Slow and steady wins the race” rings true with eHarmony.
Free and paid accounts mixed matching
Another prominent complaint about eHarmony is that the platform matches paid account with a free account. The problem of having limited matches is even compounded by these mixed matches. This is because the free account is limited, and its users cannot actually communicate. Thus, if the bulk of your matches as a paid user are free account members, you’ll find that you cannot reach out to them and they also will be unable to reach out to you.
In fact, there’s no way of telling who is a free account user in your list of matches. Thus, we’ll suspect that mixed matching is one reason for the “inactive matches” problem above. That match you judge as promising may just be a nonpaying free account holder, and if you send messages, he/ she can neither receive them nor reply them. Thus, you may be left concluding that the profile is for an inactive person.
Compatible or incompatible
The selling point of eHarmony is that it uses its “scientific method” to find compatible matches for its members. Without going into the details, the Scientific American has reported that members of the scientific community have yet to get information about eHarmony’s matching algorithm; thus, claims of it being “scientific” has not been verified. Also, the Advertising Standards Authority has also called out eHarmony for false advert claims, saying that eHarmony’s advert of “a scientific model for matching compatible persons” is misleading.
In our opinion, there is a valid point in the argument against eHarmony’s scientific method. Why not produce the evidence that the matching system is scientific? Also, supported by eHarmony could point to their lengthy compatibility quiz which is used in determining the compatibility ratings. However, nowadays, the quiz is optional. Many members no longer take them.
Imagine receiving a match with 100% or near-100% compatibility ratings, only for you to click on the profile and find it incomplete. The big questions are where the lengthy compatibility quiz (which is supposedly used in determining compatibility) is not taken, how does eHarmony come about their compatibility ratings?
Thus, we were really not surprised to find some people questioning the “compatibility of matches” that eHarmony sells. For example, in the online independent platforms, you’ll easily find person members complaining of being matched with clearly incompatible persons even though the eHarmony’s compatibility ratings were declaring them 100% compatible.
eHarmoney Review Video:
Pros:
- Strictly for marriage-minded singles
- Have a large membership pool consisting of people from different background and ethnicity
- Takes serious actions (right from membership registration) to weed out fakes and unserious singles
- Uses compatibility indices (29 Dimension of Compatibility) to match you with singles that are very likely to be compatible with you
- The matching process is personalized (you get only compatible persons) and easy (you don’t have to search through the member’s pool)
Cons:
- Is relatively expensive to use
- Its free account is basically worthless
- Have a long registration process
- You can’t search any other single outside the matches sent to you
- It matches free account holders with paid account holders, and there cannot be communication between the matches
- Not LGBT friendly
Summary
eHarmony is a legitimate dating site that comes out as a strong dating site for serious singles seeking long term relationships. This is not a place for the short flings or hook-ups. You’re also not likely to be bombarded with tons of “Hi”. Though the “scientific” matching system of eHarmony has been called out, the site still put in the effort to ensure that it only send to members only profiles that match certain compatibility indices. Thus, you are very likely to find compatible singles in the site. And if you are one of such that holds that compatibility leads to “happy ever after”, then eHarmony holds a gives you a good shot at “happy ever after”.
The site checks many boxes of the ideal dating site. It is safe and legit, it has a large membership base, profiles are detailed enough, and it provides a lot of communication resources.
However, there are some bumps along the road. You’ll have to be straight to use it (as men can only seek women, while women can only seek men). You’ll find that you have to open the wallet to use the service meaningfully, and you’ll be spending relatively more because eHarmony is relatively expensive.
Also, you’ll need to be patient; you cannot search the members’ pool, and eHarmony will only send you a limited number of matches daily. Also, you may not get responses from some of the matches when you reach out. They are either inactive profiles or free account holders that can’t communicate – take your pick.